Sunday, October 24, 2021

Beyond the Horizon

A strawberry smoothie is being sucked up a plastic straw in a cafe, beads of sweat are still appearing on my forehead, yet it is already well into October. The same sun that beats down upon Pafos's car filled streets and the un-shaded van (where my deodorant stick is melting), is the same sun that beat down upon women making their way to Aphrodite's temple to have sex with strangers thousands of years ago in these parts. Which was part of an island wide convention of that ancient time.
    In the distance many white hotels are gazing longingly at the sea, seeming to be waiting for something; a tidal wave? One that starts in the deep places of the collective mind and washes away things like:
    The arrogance that supposes women are merely facilitators of orgasm, that land and sea cannot give consent, and the ignorance that supposes the sun we bathe in is not a part of our own self. 

Back in Nicosia Eμπρός is being performed by the usual orchestra of drills, chain-saws, power-saws, lawnmowers, car horns, hammers, hedge-trimmers, parrots, birds, έλαs, όχιs and crying babies. There is a page of rest parked up by the Archbishop's Palace, interrupted by a single mosquito buzz in the dead of the night, then the infuriated crash of cymbals in my mind.
​​​​​​​    In the morning I'm woken by a bell ringing in through the van window from the Pancyprian Gymnasium. I sleepily emerge onto the street, scowled at by an early-morning dog walker, and head to La Croissanterie. 

The cafe over looks two Golden Oak trees whose arms reach to either side of the square, below them a crowd of pigeons are milling about, bobbing their heads, pecking at fragments of food. A lone cyclist flies through their midst, setting off a blur of flapping wings as they flock to the branches above.
    As the hours pass the square fills; benches get peopled, no more space for the pigeons, who permanently retreat on high, watching the waves of people, like the white hotels watching the horizon. They are waiting too, for the tidal wave.



Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Queen of Hearts

Why write words when they aren't early morning sunlight as emptied streets start filling and pigeons watch in still and gentle trees? Are not the strong bitter-sweet taste of Cyprus coffee as I watch.
     Are not my bitter experiences at the Cyprus Civil Registration and Migration department nor my sweet new van life in the sun. No matter how they are carved or varnished, they can never be promoted. The Queen stands, untouched and untouchable, moving but unmovable, she will take all the pieces in the end, King and all. 
    That flash of brown eye, that fly landing on his nose, the tropical lightening in my bedroom, these are pawns, are not themselves. So why do I carry on moving them? What am I playing against and what do I hope to win?

My first time was rough, felt funny for hours. Not like last time - he dipped every so gently into my body, spun like making candy floss for the Queen. Then the other hole. I felt fright, and lightness. How long until it's ready? Fifteen minutes he says with a warm voice. €5.
    His manner was a long distance from the guard when over forty people were trying to get into the Migration department building. Possibly because of what I was wearing - white shirt, blue shorts, white skin - I managed to get in and hand-in a pre-Brexit form that couldn't be accepted. All the same, as my inspiration to apply dissolved like sexual attraction to someone who makes a racist remark.


An arrogant Lucozade-Orange Porsche growls impatiently past as I slow down for a speed bump in Limassol. I must gently and delicately smooth the stick into first, the suspension is shot, the transmission is clunky. Some can ride over life's bumps at speed and not be damaged, others have grown old, or broken, or are just designed differently. 

Clunky - perhaps that's why I try - to salvage the wreckage of a mind. Can sentences drive me into clearer seeing? In Jalandhar the Himalayas became visible 200km away for the first time in thirty years due to the reduction in air pollution. Perhaps it is the absence of sentences that can reveal what is clear. 

I sliced my finger last night trying to cut a carrot into a pot. Perhaps the Athalassa Forest was chiding me for trying to cook with an open flame. Looking at it now, the clean red line is lifted at the edge like a smirk. 
    Suddenly the midday Azan starts up, joining the cafe jazzy remix music, hammering and drilling next door, some anonymous high-pitched whining and car engines in this sentence.
     Skin can be cut with a knife, trees can be burnt by fire, air can be moved by sound, thoughts can be carved with words. Yet still t
he Queen stands, untouched and untouchable, moving but unmovable. 
 





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